Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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