hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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