ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
