Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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