my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
