Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize