did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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