So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize