This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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