Im at strip club and am horny
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
