Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
