Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
