I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
