kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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