Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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