I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
