Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
