"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
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