i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i came on her dog
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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