i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
