Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
