420 ftw
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
