dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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