four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
