It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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