I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
