id be glad to
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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