you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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