apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
