She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The best revenge is premature balding
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can feel your judgement through the phone
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
