shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
