dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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