Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize