pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize