not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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