I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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