Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
