if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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