When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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