If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
