I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
