Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
