I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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