Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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