last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
