I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
