Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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