The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
