Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize