Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize