There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
