hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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