Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
