i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
