u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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