the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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