even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You are a genius and a whore.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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