8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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