Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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