why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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