In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
